Anxiety and Depression from a Non-Pathologizing Perspective

While treating anxiety and depression with medication improves symptoms in some individuals, it doesn’t work for many. Anxiety and depression are often seen as conditions that need to be "fixed", but this perspective can feel limiting. Instead of focusing on symptoms as signs of something broken, a psychodynamic approach combined with IFS (internal Family Systems) helps us view anxiety and depression as signals that deeper emotional needs are not being met or that there are unresolved inner conflicts. This way of thinking allows us to explore how early experiences shaped our self-concept and developed parts in us that have a certain narrative, mostly ones that are limiting.  

Exploring the Roots: Early Attachment and Emotional Patterns

Psychodynamic and IFS therapy are centered on the belief that much of our emotional life is shaped by early experiences. As children, we absorb messages from people around us—parents, teachers, caregivers—that form the foundation of how we see ourselves and the world. If these early experiences were painful and negative, they often create a sense of inadequacy, fear, or shame that stays with us into adulthood.

For example, if you grew up with a parent who was emotionally unavailable or overly critical, you might have internalized the belief that you’re not good enough or that the world is unsafe. These emotional patterns can later manifest as anxiety, where you’re constantly bracing for something to go wrong, or depression, where you feel unworthy of love and connection. Rather than seeing these feelings as something inherently "wrong" with you, psychodynamic therapy helps you understand them as reasonable responses to those situations.

Uncovering the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Our internal narrative—the story we tell ourselves about who we are—plays a huge role in how we experience anxiety and depression. Over time, the unhelpful messages we’ve internalized can become part of this story. For instance, if you were repeatedly told, directly or indirectly, that you were “too much” or “not enough,” those messages may have shaped how you see yourself today. You might believe you’re too demanding in relationships or incapable of success in your career, which can make you feel anxious or depressed.

Our goal is to gently uncover parts within us and their stories and explore where they come from. By gaining insight into how these patterns were formed, you can begin to rewrite your narrative—one that is more compassionate and aligned with your true self, rather than the distorted version shaped by unhelpful messages from the past. The old narrative just isn’t working for you anymore.

Identifying Parts Within Ourselves

Another powerful tool in this work is understanding the different “parts” within us that hold various emotions or responses to life. Some parts may feel anxious to protect us from perceived danger, while others may carry sadness or hopelessness from past wounds.

Rather than trying to eliminate these parts, psychodynamic therapy helps us build a relationship with them. For example, the anxious part of you that worries constantly may have developed to keep you safe in childhood, when things felt unpredictable. Similarly, the part of you that feels low or withdrawn may be trying to shield you from further emotional pain. These parts can remain active in our unconscious mind throughout our development even into adulthood and influence our life. By working on these parts in therapy, we can begin to shift the way we relate to them and reduce their overwhelming influence on our lives.

Shifting the Mindset: A Reappraisal of the Self

Healing from anxiety and depression isn’t just about getting rid of symptoms. It’s about shifting your mindset—reappraising the stories and emotional patterns that have been driving your thoughts and behaviors. By reinterpreting these patterns, you begin to experience life in a more open, less fearful way. 

As Nancy McWilliams, a prominent figure in psychodynamic therapy, often emphasizes, people with anxiety and depression are not broken—they are people who have adapted to difficult circumstances. The therapy process is about offering new perspectives and possibilities, which help clients become more in tune with their emotions and more compassionate toward themselves, building greater confidence.

Trying Out New Ways of Being

Gaining insight is crucial, but so is applying that insight in everyday life. The use of practical tools clients discover in therapy help them experiment with new ways of responding to familiar triggers. Healing is not about eliminating anxiety or depression entirely but about creating space for more freedom, compassion, and understanding in how we relate to ourselves and the world. Through this process, you can begin to live more fully and authentically, no longer feeling constrained by the patterns of the past.