Anxiety and Depression from a Non-Pathologizing Perspective

Anxiety and Depression from a Non-Pathologizing Perspective

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety or depression, you may feel like you’re constantly fighting an invisible battle. Some days, it feels overwhelming; other days, you just feel stuck. You may have tried different approaches—medication, self-help, distractions—but nothing seems to truly shift the underlying feelings. What if your anxiety and depression aren’t just problems to be fixed, but messages from within, guiding you toward deeper healing?

While treating anxiety and depression with medication improves symptoms for some, it doesn’t work for everyone. Anxiety and depression are often seen as conditions that need to be "fixed," but this perspective can feel limiting. The bigger question is, “Why are you feeling this way?” Instead of viewing these emotions as symptoms of something broken, a psychodynamic approach combined with Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us see them as signals that deeper emotional needs are not being met—clues to unresolved inner conflicts.

So how does one begin this journey? It starts with understanding how the past shapes the present. The beliefs you hold about yourself and the emotions you struggle with often originate in early experiences. While these protective responses were once necessary for survival, they may now be keeping you stuck in patterns of fear, self-doubt, or emotional exhaustion. But what if these parts of you aren’t obstacles? What if they’re actually the key to healing?

Exploring the Roots: Early Attachment and Emotional Patterns

Much of our emotional life is shaped by early experiences. As children, we absorb messages from parents, caregivers, and teachers—messages that form the foundation of how we see ourselves and the world. If these early experiences involved neglect, criticism, or emotional unavailability, they often create a lingering sense of inadequacy, fear, or shame that carries into adulthood.

For example, if you grew up with a parent who was emotionally distant or overly critical, you might have internalized the belief that you’re not good enough or that the world is unsafe. These emotional patterns can later manifest as anxiety, where you’re constantly bracing for something to go wrong, or depression, where you feel unworthy of love and connection. But here’s the important shift: Rather than seeing these feelings as something inherently ‘wrong’ with you, therapy helps you recognize them as reasonable responses to your past experiences.

Uncovering the Stories We Tell Ourselves

You might have told yourself, “I’m too much,” or “I’ll never be good enough.” Maybe these beliefs started early—subtle messages from caregivers, a dismissive teacher, or years of feeling unseen. These old stories run in the background, shaping how you view yourself today.

But here’s the truth: These beliefs aren’t facts. They’re narratives shaped by past experiences. And just as they were created, they can be rewritten.

Through IFS and psychodynamic therapy, we gently uncover these inner stories and explore where they come from. We get curious about how these patterns were formed—not to dwell in the past, but to free you from outdated beliefs that no longer serve you. The old narrative just isn’t working for you anymore, and you don’t have to keep carrying it.

Identifying the Parts Within Ourselves

Another powerful tool in this work is understanding the different ‘parts’ within us that hold various emotions or responses to life. Some parts may feel anxious to protect us from perceived danger, while others may carry sadness or hopelessness from past wounds.

Rather than trying to eliminate these parts, therapy helps you build a relationship with them. For example, the anxious part of you that constantly worries may have developed in childhood to keep you safe in unpredictable situations. Similarly, the part of you that feels low or withdrawn may be trying to shield you from further emotional pain. These parts aren’t the enemy—they just need to be heard, understood, and gently guided toward new roles.

Through IFS and psychodynamic therapy, we work with these parts to reduce their overwhelming influence, creating space for clarity, balance, and self-compassion.

Shifting the Mindset: A Reappraisal of the Self

Healing from anxiety and depression isn’t about ‘fixing’ yourself—it’s about reclaiming your story. Therapy doesn’t erase difficult emotions, but it helps you relate to them differently. Imagine stepping into each day with a little less fear, a little more self-compassion, and a greater sense of choice in how you respond to life’s challenges. That’s the kind of change that’s possible.

As Nancy McWilliams, a prominent figure in psychodynamic therapy, often emphasizes, people with anxiety and depression are not broken—they are individuals who have adapted to difficult circumstances. Therapy is about offering new perspectives, not just coping mechanisms, so that you can build greater confidence, emotional resilience, and self-trust.

Trying Out New Ways of Being

Insight is crucial, but so is applying it in daily life. Therapy isn’t just about uncovering patterns—it’s about practicing new ways of responding to familiar triggers. Healing isn’t about eliminating anxiety or depression entirely, but about creating space for more freedom, self-acceptance, and ease in how you relate to yourself and the world.

Through this process, you can begin to live more fully and authentically, no longer feeling constrained by the patterns of the past. And that’s where true transformation happens.

Your anxiety and depression aren’t signs that something is wrong with you. They are messages from within—opportunities to understand yourself more deeply and reclaim a sense of wholeness. If this approach resonates with you, therapy can help you navigate this journey with compassion, insight, and lasting change.

You don’t have to stay stuck in old patterns. Healing is possible. And you deserve it